This is probably one of the most difficult blog posts I've had to write because it's 1 of a few very personal ones.
It's been years since I last went to a formal lyrical jazz or even a ballet class. For years I just attended less technical and more fun fitness dance classes such as Hip Hop, Zumba, Latin Funk or Cardio Dance.
I can't remember which came first formal ballet classes or other dance genre classes. I remember it was a fun alternative way to keep fit. My classmates and I were crazy attending 2 or even 3 open dance classes back to back at Sydney Dance Company - sometimes of different dance genres . We were young, had heaps of energy and possibly had a bit of a "crush" on one particular Latin Funk Hip Hop dance instructor therefore we would follow him from class to class.
I remember trying almost every open dance genre class possible - Ballet, Lyrical Jazz, Jazz at all different levels, Tap, Hip Hop, Funk, Latin , Latin Funk even Power Yoga, Zumba, and Cardio Dance - except for Contemporary, Theatre Jazz and Locking/Popping, both at Sydney Dance Company and overseas at Harbour Dance Centre. I also hated partner work and did everything to avoid it during any open dance classes I attended.
As I became more mature my favourite open dance class became Lyrical Jazz because it was very technical yet was not as rigid as Ballet in terms of technique and choreography. I found I was able to express myself through lyrical jazz - the way the choreography flowed - the way I felt the music and moved with it. After a stressful week at work it was always something I looked forward and relaxed to AND there was no partner work!
It was probably during the time that I was attending Latin, Funk and Hip Hop open classes with my fellow dance classmates at Sydney Dance Company that I met Nick. Although he may not have been the best dance student in each of the classes he attended, he was extremely passionate about dancing and became quite good at it. He, like me attended quite a few different open dance genre classes - Jazz , Contemporary, possibly Funk and Ballet and of course Lyrical Jazz also became a favourite open dance class of his.
As time went on we became acquainted a little. Then he disappeared and I didn't see him in any of the open dance classes we regularly attended. It must have been months before he returned to classes but there was something physically different about him. I remember approaching him to say "Hi" and noticed his hair was grey and very short and spiky. Not knowing any differently I remember making a comment to him "Nice Haircut!" It was then that he revealed to me that it was not a new haircut but that he had been away because he had Leukaemia. I was in shock and didn't know what to say to him. I can't even remember if I apologised to him. Oops.
I can't remember exactly what year it was but I remember it was the best Lyrical Jazz class year I had. That year our Lyrical Jazz class along with many other open dance classes participated in the Sydney Dance Company's Open Class End of Year Performance.
Nick looked like he was back to his old self - fit and healthy - in remission. I remember taking heaps of photos ( as I do with everything) of the class running through our routine during our final dress rehearsal. I asked one of the other Hip Hop dance instructors to take a group photo of our lyrical jazz class. We were all smiles - ready to perform - stage makeup on and wearing all black.
It was my first dance class group performance in front of a large live audience yet I did not feel nervous. I just walk onto the performance area with the rest of my lyrical jazz classmates, took my place, posed and waited for the music to start. Once the music started I felt as if I was on autopilot. I did not have to blank out the audience I was performing in front of. I did not forget the routine - there was no conscious counting of steps, I just felt the music with my body and danced - I danced as if there was no one else around me - I danced with passion. A few minutes later the routine was all over. We bow/curtsy, the audience claps and we exit off the performance area. I don't seem to remember what happened after our class performance. I just remember sneaking into watch other classes perform whenever possible.
I remember sometime after the performance my lyrical dance teacher approaching me and making a comment "You did well" which I was a little shocked about. I just danced as if I was in a class.
The following year was not such a great year. I didn't plan to perform again at the end of that year however changed my mind at the last minute but I was far from ready. I had missed too many rehearsals of the dance routine chosen. That same year Nick's health began to deteriorate and I remember he did not make it to that year's end of year performance. I remember my lyrical jazz teacher asking if any of us would like to send some well wishes to Nick as he was feeling a bit down and need some cheering up so a few of my fellow classmates and I did.
I remember a fellow classmate and I bumping into Nick who had come for a visit to the Sydney Dance Company dance studios one night . He did not look in good shape. We had a short chat and I pretended he didn't look as bad as he did. I remember his face was partially paralyzed. A side effect from his treatment that was temporary and would improve over time. This was the last time I saw him.
For quite a while after, I continued to attend open dance classes at Sydney Dance Company but it was never the same. There was a certain emptiness in the classes I felt - that something was missing. It was a strange feeling. I would often take a sneak peek at other open dance genre classes before and after the open dance class I attended especially Contemporary dance classes which Nick also liked to attend - there was a guy dancing and from the back it looked like Nick , only when he turned around did I realised that it was not actually him. The feeling that Nick was still attending open dance classes just not the same ones I was attending lingered for quite sometime after his passing.
I stopped attending open dances classes at Sydney Dance Company as I lost the passion to dance. Nick was not the only classmate I lost, a few years later a fellow Coffee Club ice skating classmate and friend of mine also passed away and I stopped attending Coffee Club ice skating classes as well.
I didn't stop dancing altogether, I just attended more informal and fun dance classes such as Zumba, Latin Funk Dance , Cardio Dance and Hip Hop classes although only overseas.
After a decade of absence , I decided to return not only to Coffee Club ice skating classes but also to open Lyrical Jazz Beginners dance classes at Sydney Dance Company.
This year is the year of the Monkey - my year. I realised that life is short and that I should play hard (a familiar Nike slogan I believe) therefore made a an entry in my electronic calender of "Saturday 19th March 2016 1 pm - 2.30 pm - My 1st Lyrical Jazz Beginners open dance class @ Sydney Dance Company - no expectations"
I found my first Lyrical Jazz Beginners class quite difficult as I had lost my flexibility. I will never dance as well as I did previously but I hope my passion for dance will eventually return.
My second Lyrical Jazz Beginners dance class became a little easier however the music chosen for the choreography "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles was a little haunting for me.
I will persevere.
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